by P. Gough on March 11th, 2010 at 7:00 am
I don’t know if you’re tired of seeing that newly coupled couple at ever party you attend –the ones who really just have eyes for each other and are so obnoxiously happy– but I am! Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not the single girl sitting in the corner wishing she was one half of that sickening pair. I am a happily coupled girl in my early thirties with a great guy in her life; but, I am far from giddy.
So imagine my surprise when I find out that this “new” couple has actually been together for nearly 10 years! TEN YEARS! That’s more than 3500 days and nearly 90,000 hours! Compared to my measly 2 years 10 months that’s a lifetime and here I am envious of them. However, my curiosity was much stronger than my envy, so I strolled up to this veteran couple of 10 years and we had a chat!
Here’s what I learned, there are some small, and some not-so-small, ways of keeping a relationship happy:
Don’t cut the cute. Sweetie, Love, Darling, Honey! Using terms of endearment towards your partner is a positive sign. Pet names help people shed their guard and connect.
Find the fun. Most couples move out of that crazy, can’t get enough of you stage pretty quickly but what keeps couples happy over time is sharing activities and having fun. Whether it’s cooking, mountain climbing or exercising, find common interests and do stuff together.
Maintain family connections. Partners who are close with their families often have a higher level of intimacy in their relationships, especially when they bring their partners into the family.
Chuck the chores (or at least the arguments about the chores). Avoid arguing over things that really don’t matter, like the dirty dishes or the socks on the floor; trusting that your partner is giving all they can is the key. What if you just can’t handle the messy sink? Call a cleaning company!
Practice constructive conflict. Learning to fight fair is a sure fire way to improve your changes of staying happy throughout the relationship. Knowing that there are ground rules, and avoiding the easy out of yelling, insults and name calling will go a long way to fighting fair.
Presenting… the presents. During courtship, most couple write each other little notes, buy each other tokens of their affections, and keeping these small actions up throughout the relationship helps preserve the closeness of a new relationship and ensuring the other person feels loved.
The joy of laughter. Happy couples tend to laugh a lot. She still finds his silly jokes funny and he still laughs at her bad impressions. Laughing is like glue, holding couples together… when couples reach the point they cannot laugh together, trouble is brewing.
Safety is serious business. Couples who “know” their partner is on their side and can be counted on have far happier relationships than those who don’t. Security really helps form a bond between partners and solidify the understanding that you will always have someone in your corner that really has your best interests at heart.
Who would have thought that this party would be a learning experience, but this “cutesy” couple really wasn’t as cute as they were comfortable, and they had a lot of great information to share. The tips they gave me helped me see that my relationship is on the right track and that’s happy news to me.
Thanda Passion Booster™ promotes a healthy libido and sexual pleasure in women.
Ikawe for Men™ maintains healthy levels of sexual energy and stamina.